The erosion of the relationship happens in an instant. These three things: first, assuming that what the partner does wrong is done to spite us and as a result of a bad character; second, indifference to the partner and his or her needs; and finally, third, contempt.
These are the things that cause most relationships to fall apart, and sometimes it is enough to bite your tongue instead of hitting where it hurts. It will be much easier to jump over these natural reflexes once you have proper guidance.
Two of the most recommended relationship councilors are Mathew Hussey, Adam LoDolce, Evan Marc Katz, Jaime Bronstein, Blaine Anderson, and Esther Perel. All of these people have dubbed themselves relationship coaches and rightly so.
You can follow most of their content on YouTube. You may be skeptical but you can easily say that this type of content opens you up to recurrent issues in your relationship and view it in a different light. Regardless, it doesn’t cost anything to try it out.
All you need is a YouTube account on your device and a strong and reliable internet connection. Xfinity en español is one such provider. It makes sure you are not alone in the quest to find out more about being a better partner and having a healthier relationship. Now let’s discuss three of the most recurring issues that can develop over time in a relationship.
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Assuming your partner has an uncomplicated life
Imagine a standard scenario you may have been in many times yourself: you and your partner have an appointment with mutual friends at 5 PM. You are supposed to pick her up at 4:30 PM and then drive to their place together. You’re late. It’s 4:45, and you haven’t picked her up yet. She is angry like a wasp, of course, because you will be late together even though she was ready on time leakbio.
Like any stereotypically raised woman, she has a strong need to be seen as decent, and suddenly her image of a brilliantly organized woman suffers because of your tardiness. What is going on in her mind that sometimes comes out in the form of an argument? That this lateness is a problem with you, that you are always like this and never so respectful of others’ needs and time, and that you are rude, simple-minded, and disorganized.
The same may be true in connection with the judgment of procrastination. Procrastination is a complex psychological problem with deeply held negative beliefs about oneself. The partner, on the other hand, sees it as laziness and carelessness, a trait inseparable from the personality. We are more forgiving and less willing to whip ourselves for our mistakes, while the mistakes of the partner are simply due to how he is.
If you are in a bad mood and show it, it’s probably because a lot of little events along the way contributed to it. Your partner, on the other hand, may perceive me as spiteful or abusive for no reason at all. It’s worth noticing the person in your partner; in fact, it is essential to the longevity of your relationship, giving each other space to explain and understand is essential.
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Indifference
There is probably nothing more dangerous to a relationship than indifference when one partner stops caring, they stop trying. Consider the standard scenario: two people fall in love in the early stages of the relationship; they take care of each other, huffing and puffing about everything so that neither of them happens to feel uncomfortable. But as time passed, the man became indifferent.
One party may treat the relationship as something that was a given forever, so they show interest in what their partner is doing. The partner noticed this change and began to share their observations and concerns. This indifference made them feel unloved and rejected.
Indifference can eliminate any intimacy in their relationship and drive the partners further apart. You can easily call this the slow death of a relationship. Indifference slowly creeps in along with the conviction that the relationship is forever and taken for granted, so nothing will change it. It is well known that marriage vows are a general sense of loyalty, leaving plenty of room for bad times but not for constant indifference.
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Contempt
It starts the same way as the first one by attributing negative qualities to the partner and nurturing negative beliefs about the other. And how does it grow from there? It begins with eye-rolling, heavy sighing, belittling everything the partner says, and finally, contempt.
For example, consider a couple where each person has their hobbies. Mark collects and paints figures for tabletop, combat games and meets with friends once or twice a month to play a few skirmishes; he also collects related books. Carol enjoys yoga classes, gardening in the summer, and reading romance novels in the winter. In a word, everyone has their own thing. At first, it’s divine because everyone gives each other space. It can happen that before the next fight, Mark runs away to his workshop to calm down a bit.
However, the next time he runs from a confrontation, he may hear from her that it’s just him and his stupid painters and his buddies again. Carol may have tossed this out there in emotion, but she hit the most sensitive point, treating a large part of Mark’s life with disrespect and contempt; she hit where it hurt the most. In response, she might hear, “Then go do your ridiculous yoga with those shallow people you don’t even have anything to talk to because I can’t listen to you anymore.”
Well, it sounds familiar. But both partners are hitting roughly below the belt, treating with contempt what they individually put a lot of heart and attention into. For the sake of argument, they are trying to hurt each other, and in the beginning, it works because it hurts a lot.
Summing Up
The criticism regarding these three factors can extend not only to hobbies but to everything: to friends, to shopping, to how the household budget is managed, to family near and far, and even to whether a yoga mat or a display of the prettiest army of figurines can be placed in a shared living room. In general, this creates a hostile environment. A hostile environment makes it very easy to forget what brought two people together in the first place.
